I’m about to move!! 

Sunny San Diego is about to be my new home, and I confess … as excited as I am for my new beginning, I have been in denial. 

I’ve been busy—busy doing all the things required for a big, life-changing move. I’ve been so caught up in getting everything in order, that I haven’t been able to just BE with the fact that this is a TOTAL life change.

So all of the sudden, today during my yoga class, the instructor (who I LOVE) announced to the class that I’m moving. And they clapped! That’s when it hit me … 

Oh my God … I’m actually moving! I’m about to walk into a brand-new CREATED life!! 

An entire era is coming to completion, and a whole new era is coming to fruition.

There is definitely a bittersweet aspect to leaving Dallas behind. 

I started my career here in 2003, when God brought me here. The reality is that I chose this life by default, really. I made it work. 

But I also became an entrepreneur here, when I realized I no longer had to make anything work, because I could have it work for me. I made my first million—actually, my first five million!—here. I defined my tribe here. I wrote my first bestseller here. 

I fell in love here. The season I had with former wife taught me grace. She taught me grace. I didn’t know grace until that ten years of love. 

I got my courage here. I got brave here. 

And I know I got my job done here. I did everything I was supposed to do in this chapter. And I believe in my heart of hearts, I’ve left things, people, circumstances, and institutions better because I loved them. That’s really all someone can hope to do in a lifetime, I think. To lead. To do our absolute best. 

I’m not saying it’s been perfect. I f@cked up more than not! I’m the biggest sinner in the bunch! But I’ve done good in Dallas, y’all. I have no regrets. I have played full out. I have fallen, but I have also gotten back up. I thank God for my failures and my mistakes, because they brought me clarity about what I’m really about … what I’m committed to … and what I want to use my life for. And I am proud of who I am—and who I have become—in Dallas!  

Now, God is sending me to San Diego. San Diego feeds me. And I know I can reach more people there, because I can feel the support that is there for me and my genius. 

Hell yes, I’m nervous. I mean, it would be silly for me to say I’m not. Or even a little bit scared. #realtalk: slightly petrified, even.

But I trust me. 

I know that I have enough self-efficacy to handle it. I CAN do this!! 

And I know I’m not alone. There are people who love me, and even if they don’t love me, they respect me. They’ll help me. They’ll help me start over (all over!) again. 


And I know I’m ready for it, because I am complete. 

That is SO key; you cannot create until you’re complete. If you have sh*t that’s unfinished business, or if you have regrets, or if you’re holding onto something, you can’t move forward. You just can’t. You have to finish. You have to make it complete. You have to end it, so you can begin again. 

And that’s exactly what I’m about to do—begin again! Dream again! Believe again! Hope again! 

It hasn’t been easy, getting to this place. I know more now. I’m more healed now. I’m more whole now. Don’t get me wrong—I am NOT all the way healed. I don’t think anyone ever is. I also don’t think that’s the point. 

I think that God, or whatever entity you identify with, chooses us and uses us for something bigger than us. And if you can remember that, you won’t be so afraid. 

I’ve won a lot, yes. But I’ve lost a lot, too. It’s easy for people to only see the wins. They don’t account for the losses. But the losses have been humongous. Titanic. And they’ve cost me so much. 

But yesterday, I was listening to somebody I respect very much. A really, really brilliant man. And he said something that just changed my whole world view. I’m talking f*cked me up in the best possible way. 

“Your destiny has a price. Pay the f*cking price.”

That price is very seldom money. But there definitely is a price. A price for the walk. A price for the cross. A price for the mission. There is a f*cking price for the purpose. 

I believe with every ounce of blood in my body that I have a destiny.

I believe that God, for whatever reason, chose to keep me alive. He chose to train me on the streets. He put me on the f$cking streets to train me. To train me like a Jedi, like a soldier, like a damn Olympic athlete. 

And I believe that everything in my life up until now has been training me for this new season, in which I have my own voice. My own power. My own money. 

All on my own terms. 

I can’t blame anybody, anymore. I can’t hide behind a spouse. I can’t be a victim to my mother, or my father, or my race, or my gender, or my background, or to being poor. He took all that shit. God said, “F*ck that.” (Sometimes I think God is a gangster—y’all know how me and God roll…#mygodisgangsta.) 

I think God built me up by tearing me down, so that I would know I’m nothing without Him. And I don’t mean that in a bad way. 

I’m the best me when I’m me: when I don’t use other things as a crutch. Not people, not money, not clothes, not cars. And all of those things count, so please don’t think I’m disavowing my life. 

But now, I get the opportunity to take care of me instead of trying to make somebody else take care of me. I get to love me instead of trying to make somebody else love me. I get to accept me instead of trying to get other people to accept me. I get to approve of me instead of hoping someone else will. 

Because it’s not theirs to do. It’s mine. It’s not yours to do. It’s mine. 

I’m saying that I was born for this. I was bred for this. I may not know exactly what it’s going to be, but I know it’s going to be exquisite. 

And I know that I’m ready.

I know that I AM enough.



16 Responses to “The Raw & Real Series: Trusting Me”

Comments List

    • Darinda

      It's funny how I hear your voice when I'm reading this...as if you are reading it aloud. Just wanted to share this with you... and us. When we say that "there are no words" ... some how you seem to sew them together for the rest of us 😊 Forever Thankful for you sharing your Gifts ❤️
  1. Carolyn Crisp

    Yasss....Dr. Venus! Thank you for that tough meal I needed to digest...it hurt like crazy! This candid view of "your life" seems to somehow mirror a lot of my life. But, unlike you...I am so full of fear..fear of the unknown...fear of what it really feels like to make that move!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you....for your openness, your candidness and for your truth. If your goal was to reach 1 person...count that person as being me! Forever indebted!!
    • defyimpossible

      Awww...how beautiful! We all have been confronted by fear. Just don’t let it hold you back. The fulfillment of your dreams depends on it. 😊
  2. Jason Allen Sr

    Yes! God created each of us in HIS image. We are all COMPLETE! Nothing is too hard for GOD! I can do ALL THINGS in Christ, who strengthens me!
  3. <a href='http://charrisenterprises.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Rosalind Shavers</a>

    This.Is.EVERYTHING!!! I will certainly be re-reading this on a regular. This post has spoken to the deepest recesses of my mind, heart, and soul. Yes, God...I am ready to receive and achieve my exquisite destiny!!!
  4. Monique

    Reading this is EXACTLY what I needed this morning!! It was one of those mornings that I woke up feeling blue, then...I read THIS! I am fired up, I am inspired! Thank you so much Dr. for sharing your life and your experiences with us! You are truly making a difference! Also, I'm so happy that you are coming to Cali!
  5. <a href='http://50plusshadesofus.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Kimberly Richardson</a>

    Dr. Venus! I'm so excited for you and your new chapter. I must admit...when I realized you were relocating to San Diego, a part of me felt like I was losing you or at least that part of me that was discovered in Dallas at the Black Woman Millionaire Retreat and subsequent retreats. As you begin your new chapter, I am doing the work to fulfill mine. I am forever transformed because of you. Thank God! Thank You!!! Can't wait to see you in sunny San Diego...
  6. Kelly Hill

    Hi Sister! I have been so amazed by you since I discovered you when you were going through your recovery. I was as well. As tough as it was I was inspired by you daily. Whenever depression who peak out I removed myself from Social media. However every time I came back I saw your smile. I saw you begin to slowly push forward. I'm so happy to see that you are Moving, I wish you so much happiness and success! God is with you so I know you will be fine. We share an experience that I hope one day women will not have to go through because their is no other choice. I am still recuperating it has been a struggle, but you have inspired me to push harder. I never thought that this would be my journey at 48yrs old , or that the surgery would set me back so far ,but I have to trust myself and depend on my faith. I prayed last night and asked God for guidance. This is the first email I opened. Tears of joy. God answered me . Even though I'm Terrified to relocate, that is my beginning plan. I'm on my way soon to Washington DC from Charlotte . I'll be with my daughter's and grandkids until I get completely on my feet, but I'm going! Thank you sister! I will be following you! Much love to you and all your followers!!

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