Imagine for just a minute what it would look like if we could ALL stop doing sh$t under the auspice of being a “good” person.

Think about it:

How much do you tolerate?

And what does your answer say about you?

I can tell you what it’s shown me about myself.

I don’t give a f*$# about me.

I have been addicted to seeking approval. Comfort.

Instead of my own freedom.

It showed me how full of shit I was. And how much I hated myself.

Taking scraps. Tolerating. Across the board.

I tolerated everything I did in my life because I have felt “less than.” Unimportant. Disposable.

Like I never should have been born.

So I took what I could get.

That’s the truth I have looked in the eye, and the aftermath is overwhelming.

I’d go as far as to say this realization has annihilated me.  

I was raised by a hurt woman; the hurt she experienced made her cruel. Punishing.  Malicious. I clearly still bear the scars.

But in all fairness, life turned my birth mother into “momma.”

#backtome

Here’s what I know:

People vibrate at a frequency. (Fact.)

And I’m DONE f*$#ing with anyone who doesn’t elevate my vibration.

If it doesn’t work for me, I’m not going to do it.

I may be full of questions and doubts and uncertainties …

But I KNOW I am DONE tolerating.

Venus Opal

32 Responses to “The Raw & Real Series: Tolerating”

Comments List

  1. <a href='http://designsbyglenda.wordpress.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Glenda Thomas</a>

    “Saying yes to you, saying yes for you changes everything for the better.” Glenda Thomas
    Reply
      • Sunya Musawwir

        I guess I can relate. I've had several people tell me I can't, it's never gonna happen, you don't have the qualifications to do that and so on. I just do what I do and PROVE THEIR ASSES WRONG!!! I'm still finding me and decided not to settle anymore. Prayerfully soon my change will not come but BE HERE! #KEEPUSHINGSISTAGIRL!!!
        Reply
  2. Renee Boyd

    THISSSSSSSSSSS ALL OF THISSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! I was just sitting here having a moment and telling my daughter "Everytime we compromise a part of us dies"....a moment when I needed to speak up but didn't want to for the sake of pacifying someone elses feelings, well it HURT and I felt the pain of my silence [because sometimes silence means agreement so it's much less powerful than we or I thought] I'm blabbering now but again wanted to say thank you I SEE YOU, I HONOR your BADASSNESS and this message came right at the very second I needed to be reminded no more TOLERATING!!!!
    Reply
  3. Tralana Woodley

    Although I now you are telling your story, you cause me to reflect on my life. After reading your material I have questions for myself that honestly only I can answer. The funny thing is that I'm not sure I'm ready to speak my truth. It as if you have to allow the you that you have grown to be die and have a rebirth of yourself. You are the truth.
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      You are absolutely correct Tralana. You DO have to let the "you" you have grown into die in order to rebirth yourself free, fulfilled, and self-expressed. It is a CONSCIOUS choice. It requires you be brave. And it's worth it. When you are sick of living in fear or at the effect of other people's agendas, you will be ready to do WHATEVER it takes to live free. VenusOpal
      Reply
  4. <a href='http://under-constuction' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Cinda Adams</a>

    I’m not sure how we got suckered into this good girl trap. All it results in is disrespect and fear of losing our place in the minds of those we tap dance for. Staying in our “place” becomes the way we maintain and seek to control our relationships. The saddest part is that we often operate at a higher vibration than those we have empowered to imprison us. Whatever the reason, be it culture or conditioning, it over. I’m done and I’m so blessed to know that I’m not alone. Hallelujah!
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Dear Cina, I sooooo appreciate your wisdom. You are correct: it is a form of control. Not malicious control but being needed control. No, sis, you are NOT the only one. Thank you for your transparency... VenusOpal
      Reply
  5. Yvette Massenburg

    Dr. Reese; I totally agree with you. Once we take off the mask of wanting to be accepted and be what and who God wants us to be - We can live a true life! Not a full life! Does anyone know what a full life is? Nah, they don’t. A true life is what God has for each and everyone of us. We have to have faith and move forward.
    Reply
  6. <a href='http://www.duncaned.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Worokya Duncan</a>

    Sooooooo real!!! Oh my gosh. Thank you.
    Reply
  7. Sadie

    I have spent a great portion of my life doing this very thing of pleasing others...put up to get along. This shit makes me angry and cruel in the end. It does nothing but eat at the real person. Over time it has become difficult to acknowledge and get in touch with my real feelings! Weekly therapy, spiritual worship/ fellowship and connections such as this are great tools and resources I now use to help manage this age old bad habit and practice. Thank God when we know better, we do better
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Dear Sadie, Your honesty is very moving. When we tolerate we become cruel. #hollandpreach I applaud you for supporting yourself with resources and practices to do better... by you... vor
      Reply
  8. dbw2048

    Being honest with myself, I tolerated bs because I thought I had to, in order to survive. I watched the women in my family settle because they could not see past their current situation or they thought Jesus and the Holy Spirit was going to do all the work. Reading your post, made me get real about my life and start running for my dream so I can be free.
    Reply
  9. Natasha

    OH MY!!!! This is the kind of writing my heart longs to do. To write my story in a way that gives voice to the countless voices that live in silence wondering "whats wrong with me". Thanks Dr.Venus for real talk that provokes the sole to remeber and for me release!
    Reply
  10. DAWN BALLARD

    I don't know what to say. I feel the same way. I don't know how to say what I want to say, but what you said is it!!!!!!! I'm done tolerating too!!!!
    Reply
  11. Marcia Thomas

    Dr. Reese, every time I read one of your posts, it causes me to continually do an introspection of my own life. I can relate to tolerating stuff so as not to disturb the status quo or to be seen differently. Now that I'm 56 years old, I'm asking myself some similar questions, in regards to the direction I want my life to really go from here on. YESSSSSSSSSSS!!! I hear you Sister, loud and clear, and can relate in some parts. It's a journey to our TRUTH!! You, my Sister are making leaps and bounds on your journey. I applaud you!! I pray for you!!! Love & Blessings❤️🙏
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Dear Macia, Thanks for taking the time to read my words and respond with such love. I appreciate you for caring and empathizing. Thank you for walking with me... vor
      Reply
  12. Constance

    This gave me the feels from the poem to the real ish. I have spent 40 yrs being who parents, husbands and children believed I should be. Well to hell with that these later yrs belong to me. I don't need witnesses zi need to live my truth.
    Reply
  13. Felicia

    This speak to me on multiple levels. I have always appreciated your honesty and delivery. Thank you for following your heart and continuing to inspire us to greatness!
    Reply

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