(Read Part 1 here.)

Until all that was left was ME.

God answered my prayer. And when He did, I had to let go of EVERYTHING I thought I had to hold onto in order to be loved.

My body.

My marriage.

My hair.

The friends who didn’t give a fuck about me.

And it was an awakening.

Because my loyalty— coupled with my NEED to be useful—wouldn’t allow me to see what was right in front of me.

Even worse … I have been taught to believe that I don’t deserve.

I don’t deserve ANYTHING for myself.

I don’t deserve air.

And I have punished myself for wanting.

God has taken away EVERYTHING I was dependent on.

I have faith in His ways. I don’t question Him.

Right now, everything is dark … cloudy… foggy

I am being forced to see—murky as it is—that I MATTER as much as the people I call my own.

I am giving myself the gift of truth-telling. Just for me. I have protected so many with my silence. No more.

It’s time for me to be raw. And real.
I have NO idea what my destiny is anymore.

I can’t see it.

I don’t know what it looks like, and I don’t know who I would need to become to manifest God’s will as my life.

The only clarity I have is this:

I don’t want anything from this life. I don’t want to self-sacrifice. I don’t want to manage anything. I don’t want to be responsible for another human being.

I DO want to move to San Diego.

I want eight-pack abs.

I want to be at peace with sleeping alone.

I want to explore erotica.

I want to enjoy my puppy, Happy.

I want a Harley—or a BMW.

I want to do a photo shoot JUST for my dragon. (YAY!)

I want friends who live near me.

I want my team to outdo me.

I THINK I want to be a thought leader.

A fitness model.

I KNOW I WANT A NEW LIFE.

I am thinking of dropping “Dr.”

“Venus Opal” feels like a different person.

I don’t feel the need to say “doctor” anymore. I don’t feel the need to say “Stanford” or “millionaire” or “multiple-seven figure earner,” anymore.

None of that is me now.

In truth, I don’t know who I am anymore. But I’m not disturbed by this unknowing.

I am not attached to being rich or poor. I have been both and neither is better than the other.

I have canceled 2019. No tours. No events. My body will be healing and adapting to the hysterectomy for a year or two. This was very disheartening news to hear.

But in truth, my body doesn’t have the stamina for the rigors of touring nationally, enduring long flights, or producing a big event now.

I feel like God is MAKING me focus on me, totally and completely. And perhaps that’s my destiny.

Perhaps my destiny is to love me completely as nothing … as nobody … as a piece of shit.

As an embryo whose momma didn’t want her and whose daddy left her to the wolves.

“Dear God, please get whatever is in the way out of the way so I can truly fulfill my destiny” was my prayer that imploded my very existence.

And now, standing in the rubble and smoke … in a heap of violence, broken promises, and other people’s agendas …

… is a naked little brown girl with terrified eyes and a hunched back, hugging herself, waiting for the next blow from life.

I can see her, clear as day.

Coarse hair matted with knots because it hasn’t been combed since she was born. Calloused feet from walking shoeless on hot coals to get to a place called Love.

Arms wrapped around herself, her small, trembling voice repeating, “I love you, Venus. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you, Punchy. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you, Opal. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you so much. We don’t need no clothes or shoes. I love you. I love you. I love you. We don’t need anything they took away. I love you. I love you.
i.
love.
you.”

“You.you.you.you.you.you.you.you.you.you.you.you.youyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyououyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenough.”

And together, we walk … naked to the world … wearing nothing but …

… a dragon tattoo.

With all the love my heart can hold…
Venus Opal

36 Responses to “The Raw & Real Series: Dragon Tattoo Part 2”

Comments List

  1. T

    After a year of hospitals stays, pain and blood transfusions I had to have a hysterectomy. I am now trying to heal and gather my emotions. I appreciate how honest you are. You are such a blessing and inspiration to me as I seek my own truth.
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      I thank you for not giving up on you. I love you Chatasha. You are not alone. Check out my FB videos and IGTV videos. They may help... vor
      Reply
  2. Michaela

    Thank you for sharing, I did this something 4yrs ago. I now feel I need to do it again, rebrand myself!! OMG!! Love it!!
    Reply
  3. <a href='http://www.princessinc.org' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Automne</a>

    Morning! We are all constant works in progress and I pray that self-reflection continues to open up the parts of you you were afraid to enjoy or the parts that you believed didn't matter. You are special and wonderfully made and an example for us all. Rest and heal because in healing gives you permission to thrive! Many blessings!
    Reply
  4. Monica Flenoy

    Thank you for sharing this. Thank you for your truth and transparency. Thank you for saying that even though you have no idea what your destiny is... you can still see the things that you want to do for you. And that's important to do things for you. I know I get slack/smack talk so much for wanting to focus on me and only do things that make me happy and smile. And I am refreshed to see that more people (including you) are talking about this more and pursuing it more. P.S. you have been one of the realest/most genuine person that I have met and I am very appreciative to even know of you!
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Dear Monica, Thank you for taking the time to engage with me. I deeply appreciate your kind words, insight, and your loyalty. Sincerely, vor
      Reply
  5. Lisa S.

    Venus Opal You Are ENOUGH! You always were and will forever be ENOUGH naked with your dragon tattoo. 🥰❤️😍
    Reply
  6. Yolanda

    I admire your candor and will be praying for you along your journey . May God continue To Bless and guide you.
    Reply
  7. Roxann Bascom

    🤭😮😭 🙏🏾♥️🤗! Omg, how deep is your exhale, your let go and let God, your release and let go; all the many ways it can be phrase it all comes down to your human self being and the spiritual understanding that is being revealed; thy will not my will. Your writing though, your story, clear, deep and wide and transcending. I get it, I feel you. Life and all of it’s going-ons is filled with so many WTF situations. What resonated with me because it’s my constant prayer is “Dear God, please get whatever is in the way out of the way so I can truly fulfill my destiny.” From beginning to end I get you and in many parts I see a mirror. Do what makes your heart cry joyful and smile happy, do you! Thank you for the writing on your wall, although you’re doing it for you, it’s helping me, no pressure though. Hugs and love to you❤️🙏🏾💕
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Dearest Roxann, Thank you SO much for pouring love all over me! It's amazing the power of prayer!LOL! No regrets. I am just thankful for you and all of my other supports for making room for my humanity. I feel very grateful. Sincerely, Venus Opal
      Reply
  8. Antionette

    I feel the exact same way. Every word of it! Continue to share your truth. Love you for whoever your are:-)
    Reply
  9. Tia

    I sooo love this naked woman... God's love is tremendous,deep and everlasting.. When 'we' get to our wits end He is there...I am so glad to 'go this journey' with you...I'm honored to be a distant part of your healing internally and externally....its a good journey to 'free'....
    Reply
  10. Mary Burton

    Dr. Venus, You are a strong as woman and I will not go into self pity with you. Remember when I told you that my wallet was stolen at a seminar you told me to sell my glasses. I thought I am a strong woman with many means and I diidn't have to do no such thing. I am a child of God and he takes care of his own. I made it home even tho you never ask. But that is what millionaires do. I got mine from God and he keeps me through everything. Keep in mind God never fails his own which you should know. I have been through the same as you get up bnb put on your big girl panties and keep it going. Love you and thought you needed to hear this
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Hello Mary, Thanks for sharing. I apologize to you for any and everything I did or didn't do that you were referencing. Thanks for not taking your love away. You are a miracle. Sincerely, Dr. Venus
      Reply
  11. <a href='http://www.iamreadyworld.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Marie Andrew-Piazza</a>

    Congratulations Venus Opal on living your new life.Brave and beautiful and inspiring.It's your time for YOU. I get it! thank you for inspiration and love you always give out. I look forward to the extended version of your story. Hallelujah sister!
    Reply
  12. Subbora Jackson

    Thank you for expressing your truth and sharing your transformation. The power of honesty transcends all burdens. Thanks for all you do!!! I have an art studio now let me know when you want to do that powerful dragon photo shoot.
    Reply
  13. Drea B

    As I have followed you for a very long time and it mired you for the work that you have done. To see this other person that I did not know exist it's causing me to look deep inside of me even though you don't want to help others and this is just for you you still are helping because that's part of who God made you to be I love you and I appreciate you as a person, thank you for sharing your deep thoughts with me I count it a privilege and an honor.
    Reply
  14. <a href='http://www.talkearlytalkoften.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Dale Susan Edmodns</a>

    Venus Opal, Standing in loving witness... Dale Susan
    Reply
  15. <a href='http://www.jusmcc.net' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>RICKEY JOHNSON</a>

    VENUS OPAL... yep descriptive enough. Ok, I really did not suspect you could more powerful than you are... Proved me wrong. You are more powerful now than ever!! It takes tremendous strength of character to "let go of old power to gain new freedom". You are a "lighthouse" for so many who want to have your strength get honest with self. I so look forward to your sharing. This is one heck of a journey as a passenger!! I am buckling up!!!!! Nice to meet you VENUS OPAL.
    Reply
  16. Karen Stover

    God has taken you from the heights of Life Coaching to the belly of self coaching. I am so inspired by your truth, transparency and your boldness to live your truth in front of people. It shows how your willingness to live better and help others live better is your seeds of faith growing into a full blown out mustard seed. I hope that all made sense(lol) much love for you my sister and looking forward to your continued success.
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Hi Karen, You love note made perfect sense. Thank you for caring and bearing witness. I love you. Sincerely, Venus Opal
      Reply
  17. Tomika

    For a caterpillar goes into a cocoon and transforms herself. She goes into a metamorphosis state and becomes a beautiful butterfly. I love butterflies they represent new beginnings. I have a tatoo with my name, a butterfly, and the initials ET (Ever Transforming). It reminds my that I am forever transforming into what God has destined for me. You are a BEAUTIFUL dragon that is coming out of her shell to discover the new you. Inhale and embrace the new you; exhale and release as you burst through DEFYING THE IMPOSSIBLE yet again! I love the realness of who you are with your openes to all! Praying for you as God continues to mold you.
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Dear Tomika, Thank you so very much for your love. You ARE a beautiful butterfly. And you are cherished. Sincerely, Venus Opal
      Reply
  18. Areatha

    Here's to your health to every moment, every week and month that you wake up to the privilege of another breath and another chance to get it right. There's always something ending and something beginning. Yet in the very center is the truth of your spiritual identity is you. Fabulous, hilarious, darling, screwed-up you. Think for a minute about what makes you fabulous and how you can celebrate it here to your dragon. I want to move to San Diego too and hope to meet you there (friends who live near). We all want to feel like we matter to somebody. One(1) is the loneliest number #justsayin
    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *