I never wanted much. Not stuff. Houses. Cars.
I never want them because I had never had them.

I wanted out. I wanted better. I wanted safety and warmth.

I wanted love. I wanted acceptance. I wanted protection.
I wanted to be heard. I wanted to be believed.
I wanted to be liked by the one person who would have aborted me if Spirit hadn’t intervened.

It has taken me close to three decades to want. To desire. To dream.

My truth was as punishing as being put out on the streets as a teen: I don’t matter. I am a piece of shit. Nothing good will ever come to me.

But it can… when you heal…

Last week, Lisa and I got our first million-dollar home.

blog-7.7.16

Going from living on the streets to buying a million-dollar mansion is a healing. It’s not about the house. It’s about healing decades and generations of “We don’t matter; we’re pieces of shit. No good will ever come to us.”

Real talk: You can only have what you are willing to heal.

Strategy: When you heal your heart, you make room for your dreams.

Action: What would you have to heal to make room for your dreams?

30 Responses to “{Strategy} What do you have to “heal” to “have” YOUR dreams?”

Comments List

  1. Phylicia Jones

    Feelings of low self-worth, self-esteem, self-consciousness, and rejection. Feeling not good enough, feeling ugly, fat, unwanted, and stupid.
    Reply
  2. <a href='http://www.ruthfarmer.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Ruth</a>

    What would I have to heal to make room for my dreams? My need for approval. I also need to heal my tendency to define success by other people's standards. Congratulations on your new home, Dr. Venus and Lisa! Ruth
    Reply
  3. Cheryel Gunn

    I need to heal my heart from being the scapegoat in my family. Laying my dreams to the back burner helping family in crisis.
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Holla and preach! And when you do, they will develop the ability to rely on themselves! Victory for all! Dr. Venus
      Reply
  4. Lola

    First let me say congratulations- YOU GO GIRL !!! I need to heal a spirit of brokenness and un-forgiveness and self doubt . The brokenness comes from my oldest sister her husband left her and her kids for another woman they moved into the house me my children sister and mother shared (made it over crowed) when my mother found a house big enough for us all I was told by that our mother thinks its better for me a teen mother of three and my children to get our own and not move with the rest of the family ( it was a lie my mother never said it she did) the brokenness I still carry to this day because I never asked my mother how she felt I didn't speak to her for several years after i was told that by my sister until I learned that my mom was dying from Cancer the unforgiveness because of her words and the hurt they caused I lived with a man who mentally verbally and physically abused me I look at the stab wound every day that was meant to take my life but saved my life because it got me away from him my mother died six months after I fell in love with a man who would be a great husband and father and after me not speaking to her for almost 3 years and the last thing she said was I didn't know I can rest now because I know now that you are ok ( another sibling told her the story that after so many years I was finally able to share with her ) The self doubt comes from past hurts when she needed us we moved into one room so that her and her children would have a place why would she take away all I have known as family and home. Was I so bad a person that he would say he loves me then in the quite in the dark of night tell me how much he hated me beat my back and legs so no one would see .. What did I do wrong that the people I loved had no love just pain for me
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      You haven't done anything wrong Lola. Hurt people, hurt people. I am so sorry about the hurts you have experienced. I know the pain of family betrayal. I had to let go of them in my heart of hearts. I had to realize that everyone, including me, were operating at the level of consciousness we have at any given time. When I think on Momma, her mother had hurt her and her mother passed when she was still a teen. Emotionally I don't think Momma ever grew-up after her mother passed. So she could only do the best she could. The same is true of your family. If you want your freedom, forgiveness is your get out of jail free card. And you are going to have to stop wanting them to be different or to have behaved differently. I recommended you read two books "Trust" and "Forgiveness." Both are by Iyanla Vanzant. Both books helped me a great deal to meet life on life's terms. I love you, Dr. Venus
      Reply
  5. <a href='http://black%20women%20Millionaires' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Okoye Ann</a>

    I only stay focus and believe.
    Reply
  6. Bernadine

    I have to heal my heart too because I never felt good enough to have a good man and a good life. I always felt less confident because of my size. I have always dated men who did not care about me. I never felt like I was enough .
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      I hear you Bernadine and thank you for being so transparent. I did the same thing and it made me drink too much. We hurt ourselves when we don't love ourselves. I had to accept me, flaws and all, and really take on getting to know myself to like me. Once I truly liked me, I didn't need someone outside of me to love me. A week later I met my wife. Love attacks love. Dr. Venus
      Reply
  7. Nikya

    Congratulations Girl you did it! I'm very happy for you and Lisa. I understand after almost 41 long years, that I need to heal my abandonment, rejection issue and my false sense of pride in order to receive what I want. Thank you for the reminder that we are good and we can receive the things our hearts desire** Blessings
    Reply
  8. Tiana TT

    I was called by the Universe to heal my relationship with my cousin in order to make room for my dreams. It's interesting because I thought that I had already forgiven her years ago for betraying me in 2009. When my mother asked me yesterday to help my cousin, out of survival I immediately said no. Then I realized that I was reacting and I left the door open. Now that I have done all this healing, I see "the betrayer" was just a role my survival cast her as and she played the part. We both admitted today that the situation broke our hearts. Tomorrow we are going to talk on the phone and heal on a deeper level.
    Reply
  9. Kelly Dickens

    Congratulations to you both!!! You deserve on the best. I pray all the happiness, love, joy and healing forever in your new home. Can I get an invite to the house warming party and the first BBQ ? Jk jk ? Love you Dr. Venus...remain Blessed ????????
    Reply
  10. <a href='http://successnodebt.thwglobal.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Yvette</a>

    Dr. Venus, you are truly an amazing human being. You are incredibly smart and humble. Thank God that you care about all of us. I am most definitely inspired by this video, because I almost 50, have been taking care of everyone BUT myself & realize that i am not getting any younger. I have to make home owner dream happen! Thank you good sister. Yvette M.
    Reply
  11. <a href='http://www.blackstylists.com/anointedhands' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Crystal</a>

    I have to heal past hurts. Old mindsets that caused me to not operate at my full potential. Those feelings caused me to procrastinate and I became distracted trying to accomplish goals half hazard. Which amounted to confused focus. I can no longer blame anyonelse for my journey, tho i had inner pain that was shadowed and covered up by trying to staying busy. I understand it that my outcome was a direct reflection of the choices I chose to persue. I thank God for my ah ha momment and my training ground Valley of dry bones between somewhere and nowhere. That's when you can be Still and understand not only hear the voice in your spirit silently whispering daughtet come forth without the baggage I will , follow me, trust God's process because he knows what's best for me.
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Hi Crystal, I am proud of you. Thank YOU for committing to yourself. God may know what's best for you but God is waiting on YOU to get support to fulfill your destiny. Begin your healing with forgiveness--especially of yourself. Then others. Then life. When you truly forgive, it creates space for the next right action to reveal itself... I love you. Dr.Venus
      Reply
  12. <a href='http://www.contrabanhair.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Tanya Lawrence</a>

    CONGRATULATIONS to the both of you. My name is Tanya and my girlfriend & I are the owners of ContraBan Hair. Although we provide our Queens with PREMIUM QUALITY human hair extensions. I also use ContraBan Hair as a platform to help re-educate and build the souls of many. I was recently released from prison in 2014 after serving 14 flat years. I worked two jobs for months until my breakthrough. I received a promotion paying 3x's the sum of both paychecks. It's been two years since my release, and four months since I discharged parole. However, before I could step into the next phases of my life, I had to identify the brokenness within... Nothing can be rectified until it is first identified. Healing comes in stages and will continue to deliver throughout the process, as long as we are willing to do the work... I have much more to say, and indeed a story resides within me. I would love to share with you and perhaps form a network. Again, blessings to you both!
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      CONGRATULATIONS Tonya for your walk. I agree with you--you have to identify what needs to be done and healed in order to move forward. That's a word. Dr. Venus
      Reply

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