It’s the day before my hysterectomy.

I feel … suspended. In nothingness.

Nanna is here. (Isn’t she always, when I am in my greatest need? #blessed)

Happy is in doggie daycare. I figured now is the perfect time to get him some training, since I won’t be able to take him for walks or take care of him the way he deserves for a bit.

My mind is all over the place.

My emotions change from minute to minute.

So I turned to my tribe, needing to feel their love, comfort, and support. They never disappoint. #alwaysgrateful #ilovemytribe

One of them shared this quote with me:

“Slowly, as the years go by, I learn about the importance of powerlessness. The secret is to not be afraid of it—not to run away. The dying know we are not God. All they ask is that we do not desert them: that we stand our ground at the foot of the cross.” – Sheila Cassidy

I’m sitting with that, right now.

If I’m honest, I AM scared.

I’m scared of my tribe leaving me, because I can’t share wisdom with them right now—because I’m not useful to them, right now.

I’m scared I won’t be a woman without my womb.

I’m scared of what I’ll look like (I’m thinking of shaving my head. Random, huh?) …
… I’m scared of what I’ll BE like … on the other side of this transition.

I’m afraid of my own mortality.

I’m afraid of being alone.

ALL of these fears have one thing in common: I am powerless against them.

There’s nothing I can DO about any of them.

But there is a silence in acceptance.

And that’s where I am right now.

I surrender.

Tomorrow, everything changes.

Venus Opal

77 Responses to “The Raw & Real Series: Powerless”

Comments List

  1. <a href='http://www.destinymuhammadprpject.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Destiny Muhammad</a>

    Blessings be upon you Praying for your speedy healing and full recovery 🙏🏾
    Reply
  2. <a href='http://infinitucleaningpros.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Helen</a>

    Hello, I have learned in life that faith and fear can can’t well in the same place. Let your faith outweigh your fears and know that this is the best decision that you. Praying that God bless and keep you 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
    Reply
  3. <a href='http://www.desiremydreamproductions.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Juanita Graves</a>

    Venus, You will look the same, and this tribal member has been quiet lately battling my own mess of things but I am always here. You will be fine. Yes, you will have the feeling of being less of a woman, it is a common feeling afterward, and as I have mentioned to you before you are and always will be a woman, and LOOK like a woman! No one will be able to see that you have no uterus unless you tell them. :-) You will NOT immediately go into menopause, don't listen to that, it takes a few years, at least it did for me like 10 yrs after mines. Anyways, always here to lift you up my sister! Lord bless her to have a speedy recovery, in the name of Jesus! Juanita
    Reply
  4. <a href='http://facebook.com/tanishashanee' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Tanisha Shanee</a>

    Sending you love and strength. Pray your surgery is successful. Never think you are powerful because you are not. You are an inspiration to many out there and this one situation does not define who you are on the inside. Praying for a speedy recovery as well! Tanisha Shanee
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      I appreciate you saying that this one situation does not define me. thank you Tanisha. This helps me... vor
      Reply
  5. Constance Harding

    Venus your transparency in this is unbelievable. You will not look like what you're going through. Your spirit as a nurturer and teacher of an awesome tribe won't change. Our love of you and for you won't change. I have been a nurse 35 years and no where is it written a uterus made you a woman. Continue to bless us with your love as we bestow big hugs and kisses upon you. I'm sending healing prayers to you. Surrendering is sobering. Awaiting your recovery on the other side of this.
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      I appreciate you acknowledging my gift of transparency. It was a choice. I am choosing to heal out loud instead of in the dark. I don't want to be alone in this... vor
      Reply
  6. <a href='http://www.darlasgourmetkitchen.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Darla Johnson</a>

    Dr Venus, praying and thanking GOD for your complete healing and restoration. Don’t forget where GOD has brought you from. HE’s got you and HE’s the ultimate healer. You will be just fine. You’re a fighter!!! Love, peace, healing and blessings are yours. Thank you for all you’ve done - there is more to come - be patient. Looking forward to hearing you are on well and on the mend after this detour on your journey. Love Darla 💜
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Thank you Darla for speaking this life-affirming word into me. I love you your wisdom and vision. Sincerely, vor
      Reply
  7. Shannon Greene

    I pray quick recovery in Jesus'Name I had one in 2012. So you're not alone. We love you and thank God for you 🙏
    Reply
  8. <a href='http://vanitasvip.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Vanita T</a>

    May the power, blessings, strength, courage, and peace of the Most High be with you. Dr Venus you are such an amazingly courageous Powerful Woman Leader Builder Encouraging Inspirational Empowerment Leader! You will get through this, thank you for sharing your truth. I've given birth to 7 children an having to have a hysterectomy is one of my biggest fears. But should Life come to it I prayer healing power. That's also my prayer for you today. May calm spirit take control. Many blessings to you Dr V and a very speedy recovery. @missinhergy
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Dear Vanita, This is such a beautiful word and prayer. I thank you for speaking life over me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. vor
      Reply
  9. Rawn Williams

    Don't Worry Young Lady GOD Is in Control! Remember You're BLESSED and a Blessing for a lot of Women & this young man ME.
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      YAY for the men who love us!! Thank you so very much, Rawn, for saying this. It means a lot to me...
      Reply
  10. Sunita Garrett

    As I said on Linkedin. My grandma Anita M. Johnson is times like this would always say "Some times you got to LET GO in order to HOLD ON" I carry this with me in all situations.
    Reply
  11. <a href='http://www.dreamcastconsulting.us%20%20(under%20construction)' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Elise Green</a>

    Surrender.... I get it... been through multiple surgeries over the last 4 years. Scared is scared and mortality is mortaity. Dr. Venus.... we will not abandon you. We will wait for you. We will continue to grow in all that you have shared with us, grew in us. Your harvest is still being realized. We will support you, pray for you, pray over you, look out for you, look to your creator and master physician - God, who gets it right....every time. Surrender does not signify defeat. This is just a pause. An intentional pause for total maintanence of YOU! You will be here... we will wait. Oh the testimony to come..... rest well in this time of transition.... we got you. - Elise Green / Dreamcast Consulting
    Reply
  12. <a href='http://noexcusetravel.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Cathy</a>

    Dr. Venus, you are so loved. I appreciate your transparency and the fact that you allow us (your tribe) to walk through this season with you. Although you may experience some emotional highs and lows during this process, your greatness and purpose is irrevocable. Be encouraged, and know that you are never alone. It’s All In HIS HANDS
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Hi Cathy, I have the BEST tribe in the world!! Thank you for letting me know I am loved. All of my wounds from my childhood are arising and I feel like a piece of shit. I read my tribes comments, reflections, and love notes to let me know what my wounds say is not the truth of me. So thank you. vor
      Reply
  13. Teresa Pasley

    Don’t worry, my HysterSister, all will be well. I remember having similar feelings of uncertainty on my day and during the days afterward. But you are resilient and beautiful, that will continue and you will be better than ever with a NEW story to tell. I can’t wait to read about it. Peace and love ❤️
    Reply
  14. Carol Mayers

    Venus, Thank you for your vulnerability, God will give you strength during this time of weakness. Rest in his loving arms and care. Remember God's promise, "I will never leave your or forsake you"
    Reply
  15. Tonisha

    Venus, I had a hysterectomy on August 21, 2018. I had some of the same feelings you are experiencing even to the fear of death or something going wrong. But I prayed to God to direct the procedure and I let it go. Sis, you are strong and you will feel even more closer to God after it's all over. Your way of living will be so much better! We may not know each other, but I know you will be fine.
    Reply
  16. Dawn Bates

    You are stronger than you think! Praying you to a higher level of inner peace and prosperity. I admire and appreciate you expressing your vulnerability and honesty. You are truly an amazing woman. The Best is Yet to Come. Love you to life sista!
    Reply
  17. Danielle Pollard

    May peace fill your mind, love fill your heart and hope fill your soul. God is with you and so are we.
    Reply
  18. Cam

    Dr. Venus, I want to say everything, yet I can say nothing. Your fears are justified. Just know that on the other side of this, you'll find peace, love, acceptance and power...yes, power. I'm keeping you in my thoughts. Cam
    Reply
  19. Karen Stover

    While you were just a thought in God's mind you were everything that you were intended to be before you had a womb before their was head on your head before you had a tribr before you had wisdom to even share you were everything that God intended you to be! Now that you are a manifested thought you more than you were intended to be. You are NEVER alone. You are LOVED in every aspect.
    Reply
  20. Tamara Williams Van Horn

    I am entering a fibroid attention process that may require a hysterectomy. Your example and bravery are helping me get into action around my fear. We will be with the ancestors, supporting you, while you are asleep.
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Tamara, This SO beautiful: We will be with the ancestors, supporting you, while you are asleep." Wow. I love you for this... It comforts me in private ways... Thank you. vor
      Reply
  21. Karen Mahamadou

    Honey this is nothing. God's got you. You have been blessed. We all go through things where at the time we are going through, we think there is nothing worse. But once we get over, we can shout and be a witness of how we got over. I say that to you, but it is really for me. I am going through some thing so humiliating and hurtful I have nothing to hold on to but GOD. I pray for your strength at this time and know that God will not put on you more than you bear. Say the 23rd Palsm. The Lord is my shepherd. Know that I am praying for you, and the strength I know will carry you thru recovery.
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Psalm 23 21st Century King James Version (KJ21) 23 The Lord is OUR shepherd; WE shall not want. 2 He maketh US to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth US beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth OUR soul; He leadeth US in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. 4 Yea, though WE walk through the valley of the shadow of death, WE will fear no evil; for Thou art with US; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort US. 5 Thou preparest a table before US in the presence of OUR enemies; Thou anointest OUR head with oil; OUR y cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow US all the days of OUR lives, and WE will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. I love you Karen--thank you for this... vor
      Reply
  22. <a href='http://Reginatandeka.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>N.Regina Jackson</a>

    You've read some great sharing from your tribe, sis. .i'm wondering what is Nanna saying. What is she doing. She chose you. And every day she chooses you again. I love that about her. Please give her my warmest regards. I wish I was Nana right now. I would be right there with you when you begin and i'd be the first to see you at the finish. And we would celebrate the way you said you wanted to. So... how do you want to celebrate? You'll find other ways to connect, little videos, little photos, little artwork, little messages from Nanna... you are inspiring even at this moment. I love you, .no matter what.
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Dear Regina, Thank you for loving me no matter what. It helps me not judge me so harshly. Nanna is being great and I will give her your love. vor
      Reply
  23. Farha

    Remember sweety you are strong and there are always options. You don't have to give up your fertility. I'm not. I have PCOS and have had several miscarriages but knowledge is power. I have found how to heal my body and I am doing it. My prayers are with you.
    Reply
  24. Yvonne

    I am praying for your best possible outcome and complete restoration of body, mind and Spirit. Speedy and Joyous recovery. Can’t wait to connect with you on the positive other side of this of temporary health challenge, All the best.
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Thanks Yvonne. I don't know when the positive will come. But I hope you stick around until it does... vor
      Reply
  25. Dorothy Hix

    I do know how you feel I had my hysterectomy in 2002. I feel the same as a matter of fact I felt better. No menstruation and with time you will feel better. My mom had one and another sister did. My daughter may need one and she feeling some kinda way because she is single and don't have kids. The doctor asked her to try to have a child. She is single. You awesome and thank you powerful women for getting and going through the storm. Better days is coming.
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Thank you, Dorothy, for sharing your walk. Ironically, it makes me feel like I am part of an elite private club I never knew existed until now. SO many women are sharing they have had this surgery and are thriving. It's good to hear... vor
      Reply
  26. <a href='http://designsbyglenda.wordpress.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Glenda</a>

    Sending Love to you! Praying for you. Lifting you to our Source!!!!!!
    Reply
  27. Carolyn

    I know that I t is a good thing to just allow and feel the emotion. I also know that you help so many others. I just found you an I am so grateful. Know that all things work together for good, and that you are perfect and ok just as you are today, and tomorrow.
    Reply
  28. Dr. Pamela Kennebrew

    We are sending you love and light. Know that you are who you are with or without body parts. Who you are is much deeper than any of that. Having said that, I appreciate your honesty and your willingness to share your feelings...your authenticity...your vulnerability. This tribe member and many others are here for you and will allow you to be you.
    Reply
  29. Wanda Pemberton

    Trust God.....HE is always there and you were always HIS. Asking HIM to station angels around your bed and in the operating room. You will be fine Sis.🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
    Reply
  30. <a href='https://jaibu2009.wordpress.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Juaitan</a>

    Allow me to share a bit of my journey and my hope is that it encourages you. I am one month away from the one year anniversary of my hysterectomy and I rejoice. Why? Because my body turned on me and infection literally tried to kill me twice, the final solution was to have the hysterectomy. We tried antibiotics and that didn't work, we tried removing just the Fallopian tubes & antibiotics and that didn't work, we had no choice but to do what I had asked for years ago...a hysterectomy. We have a history of cancer in some odd, and not so odd, places and the thought of venturing down that road, among other things, was scarier to me. While this may be a scary journey for you and you may wake up feeling a little different, remember that your life depended on you having this procedure done. Rejoice in your new found life. Peace and blessings to you hun and don't rush the healing process. Jai
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      "...remember that your life depended on you having this procedure done." This is the truth. I forget that sometimes. thank you for reminding me. A new life is being born... vor
      Reply
  31. <a href='http://www.beausatchelle.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>April Bayles</a>

    I experienced my surgery last summer and went through ever emotion and thought you are going through. The other side is a joy and peace of being healthier. My doctor took a picture for me and I cried first, then giggled - laughing will hurt for awhile. Sending prayers and positive thoughts!
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Thanks for saying this April. Sometimes I feel batshit crazy!LOL It's good to know the emotional mayhem is part of it all... vor
      Reply
  32. Margaret O'Grady

    You are going through a loss. Take your time, savor the good moments. You are an inspiration and I am truly grateful for finding you. Have a Blessed day.
    Reply
  33. Subbora Jackson

    Thank you Nana and know we are hear for you all around the world with the same song..."know who you are"!!!! Beautiful spirit you got this...we are sending all the best energy to you now...when its all said and done you, Nana and Happy can come to Florida to my art studio for some creative relaxing healing. We love you, thank you for sharing your fears. Subbora
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Thank you for calling me Beautiful Spirit! :-) And thank you for the invitation! Happy is a beach pup!! Nanna loves art and water too. This is a wonderful future to live into... I think you so very very much... vor
      Reply
  34. Net-Hetep Ta'Nesert

    Dr. V., You are never powerless! You are a being of Power challenged by the vehicle of flesh you must travel in while in this dimension. You know LOVE is your Greatest Tool- It is what you resonate to as well. Don't think like a human-lol. I know that's hard not to do because WE ALL have been endoctrinated to Accept this falsehood. Surrender sounds like you're admitting Defeat. We've been endoctrinated to think that is what surrender means. Words have Power and they are used for good and bad. SURRENDER is the spiritual sense allows You to Reclaim your knowing that because You Are A Child Of God there is Nothing to Fear. You have God genes in you-a Great Gift! The flesh is your vehicle, You are Spirit. Breathe, Relax and practice the six healing sounds(Mantak Chia). Read Spiritual Astrology by Jan Spiller and Karen McCoy. Always know that You Are Loved Dearly Because You Are Love.🌻🐝💚😁💗👑 Aspiring Goddess 9
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      HI ASPIRING GODDESS 9!!! You are with me on my IG lives!! Thank you for your consistency, wisdom, and presence. I love you word. Thank you for walking with me... vor
      Reply
  35. Kisha Allen

    Just wanted you to Know that you have been giving so much life to so many children. I feel that so much for you. Not as a natural mother but a spiritual one. Thank You and Gods blessing
    Reply
  36. Angela Green

    Sistar, Dr. Venus , Sending u positive, healing energy in this moment of "UNKNOWING-NESS". Seems natural to feel Fear...anxiety...loss- It OK to FEEL the feelings. U r, for a moment, out of the drivers seat & in the hands of Our Creator. Ameen. U r covered. Embrace the fact that u r @ the brink of the "end" of all u have known & entering/stepping into a new beginning. Take this time to really, truly, REST, RE-NEW & RE-COVER. W/ an Abundance of L O V E ~ Angela G.
    Reply
    • Dr. Venus

      Dear Angela, Thank you for this wisdom. Rest comes hard for me. It seems like such a waste of time. And I know that It truly is out of my hands. So I thank you for speaking life into my future. Sincerely, vor
      Reply
      • Angela Green

        I feel compelled to share a RESOURCE that my Sistar shared w/ me when I was in one of my lowest points EVER mentally & emotionally. I peg this moment as the beginning of a major paradigm shift in my life, what I thought about "reality" AND our CREATOR. His name is Ra Akhu and he's an adept astrologer. He used to give one- 15 min FREE READING over the phone Sunday- Monday IF u call him w/ your date of birth & time of birth (if available). (516) 881-6992. Confirm his specific hours for the Sample readings - check on https://www.instagram.com/cozmo361/ Whenever u describe your mental pic of God- I picture Ra Akhu. I was nervous when he & I spoke but his first question was "Do you believe in GOD??" My faith had been shaken BUT I managed to say "Yes." He said "Good. " My faith that there IS a CREATOR & a REAL PLAN for my life was FORTIFIED after talking to him about my birth chart. It hasn't been an easy journey but having access to a LIFE GPS took away my feeling of being "lost", untethered & uncertain. 💟
        Reply
        • Dr. Venus

          Dear Angela, Thank you deeply for your care and for sharing this powerful resource. I deeply appreciate your presence in my life... vor
          Reply
  37. Teora Brooks-Summers

    May the God of all peace bless and keep you as you walk through this phase of your life. He knew long ago that you would undergo this life event, and has prepared you to come through with the peace and strength that only He can give. It is a time of rest, reflection, and renewal. Praying complete healing and total restoration in the mighty name of Jesus!
    Reply

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