In my last post, I talked about choosing to evolve or become extinct. (You can read it here.)
Today, I’m going to talk a little more about how this is playing out in my life, right now.
So, remember how I said I’ve been moving into a new space as I continue healing my wounds around my father?
If you know me, you know I don’t know him. And lately, for a minute now, I’ve been sitting with the wounds I carry because of that.
Right now, I’m just really BEING with questions:
God, what would it really be like if it wasn’t just me, but “we”? What if it was more … what if I started focusing not only on the brothers who love us, but on the men who love us? What if I really started taking on manifesting millions with the men who love us? What would be available if we Black Women took that on?
Do you know what I’m saying here?
I haven’t figured all of it out yet, but what I KNOW is that I’m willing to engage. I’m willing to dream and pray on it, and to keep asking questions.
I’m willing to say “thank you” to my father. I don’t even know if he would like me. I don’t know if I’m too much like my birth mother for him. I don’t know if he would really want me even now. I don’t know if he would be proud of me or pissed off that I’m queer. You know what I’m saying? I don’t know.
But, I’m willing to engage. I’m willing to try. I’m willing to be honest. And I’m willing to fail.
I’m definitely willing to give myself permission to dream things I’ve never dreamed of before … so I can expand and evolve. Because I don’t want to be extinct.
Please comment below so we can bear witness: what are YOU willing to give yourself permission to do?