1. WE Are the Foundation

    I believe that our men follow us—we don't follow them. I’ll go as far as to say that the world follows us, and then it follows him. In that sense, we are the foundation of everything. This is just one of the reasons I focus on healing—to be the absolute best version of ourselves. Yet women notoriously put themselves last. We think we need to help heal others—those we love. We figure our ow…Read More

  2. If We Do THIS, We Can Heal the World

    When I think about expanding my calling to healing and mentoring Black men, BELIEVE me, I have had my doubts! Where do I even start to make sure they know they are loved? How will it work? When I pray about it, it sounds like this: I don't know how, God. I don't know if they will listen to me, I don't know if they will hear me. I don't know if they will even like me. I don't know if they can deal …Read More

  3. I am shaken to my core… AND I’m ready…

    I can feel myself getting quiet on the inside ... Resolved. Resolute. Determined. At this time last year, I had a procedure done to reduce the size of a benign fibroid tumor in my uterus. It didn't take. Now, the tumor is the size of a grapefruit, and I can see it protruding from my tummy when I lay on my back. The pain of my menses has escalated. So much so, I lay on the floor in tears, unable to…Read More

  4. What If It Wasn’t About You?

    Last week, I asked this question: How do we love someone (especially a Black man) in a way that shows him how to love himself? Here’s what I think: You have to love yourself so much that you can put yourself in his shoes, see his wounds, and not make it about you. And that’s a challenge, right? That can be HARD. I mean, it would be easy for me to get caught up in the hurt of not knowing my fat…Read More

  5. Loving in the Absence of Love

    Has anyone ever loved you through a time when you couldn’t love yourself? Someone did that for me. Nanna. When I came to school smelling like urine and beer, she loved me anyway. When I said horrible things to her, because that was all I knew, she loved me anyway. Nanna’s kindness let me experience that I was not my pain. Which brings me to the question in my mind today: How do we love someone…Read More

  6. The Sins (and Wounds) of the Father

    The sins of the father fall upon the child. And so do the wounds. Right? I've really been BEing with that lately. If you've been with me for a minute, then you know Momma and I had to work some things out. I bear her scars and I bear her wounds. I bear the wounds of my mother's mothers, and I also bear the wounds of the absence of my father. But I never took ON my father. I didn't even think to. I…Read More

  7. Money Myths

    From the time momma put me out when I was sixteen, I’ve been learning about healing. And #realtalk – that’s how I spend most of my time. Healing. As I discovered how to heal, I learned how to manifest. I promise you, that is key: you have to heal to manifest. As I healed, I eventually graduated from Stanford University with a second Masters and a Ph.D. Then, I was a teacher, a tenured profes…Read More

  8. A History of Hurts

    Let’s be real. We have all—ALL of us—inherited a history of hurts at the cultural consciousness level. Those wounds shape us as individuals, they shape our relationships with one another, AND they shape our money. In other words, these wounds shape our entire existence. And when we are triggered, we evoke history: personal, cultural, AND historical. We then end up acting on those wounds, whe…Read More

  9. Are You Committed to Being Right, or Rich?

    I’ve asked myself this question so many times: Are you more committed to being right, or being rich? I mean, is it more important to you, sis, to be right about your point of view … about what you know … about what you’ve done … … than it is to be RICH? (And I’m talkin’ for real for real rich—so you can actually effect change.) I’ll tell you what I’ve been asking myself—wha…Read More

  10. Making Space for Black Men

    In my last post, I talked about making space for my father. (You can read it here.) Today, I want to take it a step further, and talk about making space for Black Men. Let’s be real—we are QUICK to villainize them. “We” meaning society, yes. There is no doubt That society has empowered masculinity—toxic masculinity—that has crushed so many things and people. But we do it as Black Women…Read More